Kangai Mwiti

Ok- so that’s my own headline, but it’s true.

Kenyans have been going through a lot of stress lately. The economic crisis is finally hitting us, prices are increasing, retrenchment is the buzzword of the day and our politicians are decreasing the overall intelligence of the average Kenyan.

Our politicians have spent a few weeks debating on who’s power and influence should be greater, rather than implementing the changes they promised over a year ago when the coalition government came into power. These and other petty arguments have literally been the straw that broke the camel’s back, or in this case, the backs of their spouses who have been encouraged to stop rewarding their husbands with sex for a week. I am innately embarrassed to be a Kenyan woman, and for the next week I’m claiming Macedonian citizenship, or even Zimbabwean.

First of all, our current government should not constitute a reason to sacrifice sex for change. Would you sacrifice the pleasures of your marital bed for a government that let 10 million people starve? That have been bickering about the content of agendas, rather than implementing them? That were responsible for the deaths of over 1000 people and the displacement of 100,000? That don’t even pay taxes on their fat salaries? I don’t think so.

Second- is banning sex the most effective way to get our leaders to change? It has been tried before with stunting and surprising results (for the women, at least). As they say, you attract more flies with honey, not salt-and-lemon water laced with don’t-you-dare-touch-me-for-the-next-week-or-I’ll-scream! Wouldn’t it be more effective if we all, as Kenyans, just quietly ignore our politicians? Just stop listening to them and affording them the priviledge of our limited time and attention. Just like a screaming, tantrummy boy- slap, kick or beat him in the hope of discipline and he rebels. Ignore him while finding something else that’s more interesting and he comes crying for forgiveness, willing to change.

Third- from what I’ve heard, sex is fun. It’s meant to be, and men will find other fun releases for their desires. We claim to be a country based on Christian principles, with foundations in biblical truths that never change. Sex within the confines of marriage is biblical, and denying a man in this way is a recipe for disaster.

Fourth- have these women thought about the repurcussions of their actions? This is not a have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too scenario. It’s a have-your-cake-and-you-probably-will-never-have-it-again scenario. The surprise of a lifetime will unveil itself when these women return after their week-long fast to find men who will not desire to make babies with their wives.

Fifth- these women are also working on a plan to pay prostitutes not to have sex for the week. In all honesty, and with the chance to capitalize on the daftness of the Women’s Development Coalition, no payout should be enough to make them stop. If they are wise, they’ll figure out that they can hike their prices (since demand would probably increase) making a tidy sum while promising the Women’s Development Coalition that they will not engage in sex. Prostitutes aren’t known for their morals anyway. Double the money, double the fun!

… I need healing.

Since the writing bug finally lodged itself firmly in my… well… brain?, I’ve decided that I’ll be undertaking my most exhausting, yet fulfilling writing challenge yet- NaNoWriMo! (My first was this blog…)

NaNoWriMo is a really cool program/event/thing/challenge where you get to flex your writing muscles all in one month- November. The goal- write a 175-page, 50,000-word novel (fiction) by midnight November 30th each year. They have a rather cool history which I’ve reproduced here, for your viewing pleasure.

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YEAR ONE!

The very first NaNoWriMo took place in July, 1999, in the San Francisco Bay Area. That first year there were 21 of us, and our July noveling binge had little to do with any burning ambitions we might have harbored on the literary front. Nor did it reflect any hopes we had about tapping more fully into our creative selves. No, we wanted to write novels for the same dumb reasons twentysomethings start bands. Because we wanted to make noise. Because we didn’t have anything better to do. And because we thought that, as novelists, we would have an easier time getting dates than we did as non-novelists.

So sad. But so, so true.

The first year’s trials and tribulations are laid out in the introduction to No Plot? No Problem!, but the short version is that our novels, despite our questionable motives and pitiful experience, came out okay. Not great. But not horrible, either. And, more surprising than that, the writing process had been really, really fun.

Fun was something we hadn’t expected. Pain? Sure. Embarrassment? Yes. Crippling self-doubt followed by a quiet distancing of ourselves from the entire project? You bet.

But fun? Fun was a revelation. Novel-writing, we had discovered, was just like watching TV. You get a bunch of friends together, load up on caffeine and junk food, and stare at a glowing screen for a couple hours. And a story spins itself out in front of you.

I think the scene—full of smack-talk and muffin crumbs on our keyboards—would have rightly horrified professional writers. We had taken the cloistered, agonized novel-writing process and transformed it into something that was half literary marathon and half block party.

We called it noveling. And after the noveling ended on August 1, my sense of what was possible for myself, and those around me, was forever changed. If my friends and I could write passable novels in a month, I knew, anyone could do it.

Which is how the whole thing really got rolling.

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To get years 2 through 9, go here. To think about what it means to go through this relatively creative challenge, go here and get some of your questions answered.

A Birthday Workout for QuiiQuiix
Hike across green Ireland;
Bike the USA;
Backpack through New Zealand,
But don’t call it a day…
Do yoga in lovely Paris;
Jump rope in Katmandu;
Avoid Italian pasta,
(Well, maybe taste, but don’t you chew!)
Climb atop Mt. Everest;
Do aerobics on China’s Wall;
Lift weights on Mexican Beaches;
And honey, that’s not all…
Shake your booty with native dances
In Fiji and Bora Bora;
Move your body and exercise
Like you’ve never done befora.
Okay; that’s good; you’re finished;
Now you can take a break;
You’ve finally burned enough calories
To have your birthday cake!

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Happy Birthday Sis!
One day we’ll go to all those places, ama?

When the going gets tough, and the tough go broke, a familiar Kenyan saying begins to crop up. You begin to hear CEO’s, managers, staff members and support staff saying “Ai! Manze things are thick!”

I’m in the thick of things right now, what with the demand for psychosocial servicese on a serious decline. (I work for a firm that provides behavioral counseling and psychosocial support to Africa). Many people are cutting back on extreneous spending, especially for items that are not needed.

So what would you do if your target market decreases their budget, cutting you out of the loop? Would you scale back- decrease spening, decrease costs, just do what you’ve always done, wait, pray? Or would you do the exact opposite?

Many employees right now are fighting to keep their jobs. How? By lying below the radar and not doing anything wrong. By sticking to the rules and not breaking any. By being constant, consistent and… well… employable. But this is also boring. Employers don’t like boring. In fact, the more boring you are, the higher your chances of getting retrenched.

It takes guts to go against the crowd. To provide a product or service with insane amounts of marketing and advertising when your peers would just look at you and wonder if the Sandman had been around your home recently. To finally pitch that project you’ve been scared to pitch because it’s just so crazy. But this is exactly what you should do.