This was originally written by Becky Blanton- a great friend of mine. She knows what she’s talking about.
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When Seth talks about “The Dip,” I think – as most of us do, it’s about getting through the financial times, the lack of customers, the fact no one has discovered us. It’s about administrative things and staffing and delivery and the business end of “the Dip.” But it occurred to me earlier today that the real dip for most of us is fear. Fear of what others will think, fear of what others will say, fear we’ll look foolish…
Cases in point: As the new Assistant Advertising Director of Clayton Homes (A fortune 500 company), I had a lot of pretty good ideas – most of which didn’t fly because (1) I was not a white male with a history in finance (2) I was a heretic. Along the way however I proposed two things which I thought were great ideas at the time (1983):
At a ground breaking I strongly suggested that instead of the standard (BORING) gold plated shovels that the CEO don a hard-hat and climb aboard a bull-dozer, roar up over a hill and take a real shovel full of dirt, make it an unusual ground breaking. That was in 1983. Old hat now. But then – then it was scary and what would people think and all that song and dance. So we used shovels. No photo ran in the paper and I knew it wouldn’t. Years later however, I picked up the paper one day and saw Jim Clayton in a hard hat, on a bull-dozer. Why did it take so long? Fear.
Mobile homes used to just be wrapped in white plastic for transport. I suggested we have the logo printed on the plastic so whenever a home was being moved down the highway everyone knew it was a Clayton Mobile home. Standard in the industry now but unheard of then. It’s not so radical – but it inspired fear. It was different. I had a lot of other good ideas too – none of which floated until long after I left. Years later after a series of jobs which I quit or was fired from for being a “loose cannon”, I ended up in a small KY town. KY, if you didn’t know boasts more famous country music singers than any other state. They may end up in Nashville, but they’re born in KY.
As the manager of a country music band out of Louiville. I knew the only way to get fans in a small town was to introduce the band to the townsfolks. But how? After practice one night I encouraged the band to meet at the ONE restaurant and bar in town, guitars and cowboy hats in hand. They were going to play. No, no one had given us permission or knew about it. We were just going to walk in and sit down, order beer and play and sing. Once through the door I saw I table of about 30 people – a birthday party. I found out who the father of the birthday girl was, told him what a great idea the party was and asked if we could help them celebrate – by singing Happy Birthday and a country music song. He thought it was great – and so (after threats and cajoling to get the band to actually do it) we had a three song concert. There was music, curiosity, clapping and obviously – the band was well received. We moved it into the bar and for the next four hours they sang, did cowboy rap, shook hands, talked to people and by the end of the night had offers for several private gigs and a concert.
But what happened? They got scared. What if? What if people were just being nice? What if no one really meant it? What if they weren’t any good after all? Fear. Once they pushed past the fear it was good. The trick is to continue to push past it.
I could go on for pages and pages about how fear is the biggest dip we face. And it is. Fear is a real thing, but it’s not the only thing. Sure, things can happen. You can fail. You can look foolish. Your friends can make fun of you. Your great van-dwelling adventure can turn into an “Oh sh** I’m homeless” nightmare. But what happens if you do push through that fear? My van-dwelling became a refuge where I wrote an award winning series of articles and inspiration for a book I’m now working on.
The worst that can happen is you’ll fail. Really. You can lose money, thousands, millions even – and I’ve met dozens of successful people who tell me of the three and four times they’ve made and lost a million dollars – yet they kept at it. We’re not quite at the point in this country where people throw you in jail or shoot you for failing.
Things to remember about fear:
It will grow as big as you’ll let it.
Fear feeds on thoughts. The more you feed it thoughts of “What if” the bigger it will grow.
Fear is a condiment, not a food group. It’s healthy to sprinkle a little fear in your projects to keep you sharp and thinking and on your toes. But remember – a sprinkle of fear does not mean supersize it at the takeout window.
The discomfort and pain of fear is almost always greater than the actuality of the feared event.
Define your fear and you can conquer it. Horror movies where we don’t see the monster long enough to make out what it is, or what it does exactly, are scarier than the movies where we do. Remember “Alien” for instance? Sure the monster was horrific, but it was when it was zinging around undefined where the real fear was. Once we saw what it looked like and it had parameters – sure, we were afraid, but we started thinking of ways Sigourney Weaver could defeat it. So, define it. Once you know what it is you’re truly afraid of – you can take steps to address that and deal with it and push through the fear dip.
So what’s your biggest fear? Really. Tell us. Post your biggest fear in as much detail as possible, such as, “I’m afraid if I quit my job I won’t have enough money to pay my bills and I’ll lose my house,” or “I’m afraid if I start this blog or write this book, no one will read it.” Finally – once someone posts a fear, read it and chime in with a solution. It’s always easier when it’s someone else’s fear and not our own.
