One of my friends in school is quite brilliant. She’s young, highly motivated, gets straight A’s and holds down a full-time job. Everything is going quite well- according to her master plan.

This morning I found a blog (randomly) created by 15 year-old Jordan Chank- a resident high-school student in Canada. Jordan, through the power of New Marketing (the web and all its bells and whistles) has created a platform where he can experiment with niche markets, build his brand and make some extra cash on the side (extra being around $10,000 as a consultant). He’s a programmer, linguist, consultant, web designer, coder, photographer and physics-buff.

The world is growing smaller and smaller, as globalization takes a stronghold. Having a job nowadays is not an end in itself. It actually is the end.Why? Because being simply employable and having the basic skills required for the job is one of the greatest dangers that you face.  Because once you’re employed, chances are that you’d work very hard to remain employable, especially in this age of retrenchment. Staying under the radar and not working to do something remarkable is the bane of many Kenyan employees’ existences. Having a job and standing out is a paradox in and of itself. And that’s what’ll get you retrenched.

So do what Jordan did. Work on branding yourself, on writing, on learning Nordic languages (he’s proficient in two), on traveling, on learning C++, on investing and saving… Build yourself into something more than just an easily replaceable commodity. How? Just as the world is my oyster, Google can be yours. And just because you’re so cool, here are a few resources you can use. This post also goes over a few.

Resources

1. Track your money through mint
2. Download the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People In Context
3. Wanna learn Japanese? Chinese? Hungarian? Teso?
4. Post-graduate degrees can be financed rather easily even for internationals (thanks Doreen for the heads up!) More scholarships can be found here!
5. 10 Blogs and One Site that will boost your happiness!
6. Get Rich Slowly, and make some money while you’re at it.
7. Learn how Chris travels all over the world for an average of $340 per flight!
8. Need some inspiration? Read Mariatu Kamara’s story- The Bite of the Mango or check out 1000 Awesome Things.
9. Build your résumé and post it on the web for everyone in the world t see (let me know if you need any help coming up with yours!)
10. Play Monopoly, read a random blog, or learn a new skill like knitting, deep-sea diving, public speaking or Setswana.

As Seth mentions in Meatball Sundae, “the number of individuals trained in human factors, mechanical, electrical and software engineering, and in industrial and interaction design (all at once) is small indeed. And that’s the skill set leveraged by Ideo.”

FYI: Ideo is the world’s best design company.

Pucker, finger, bootom-lip, hand, throat, teeth, roof or palatial... there are so many ways!

It seems silly to think about it, but I recently wondered whether anyone could whistle in bass. No high-pitched trills, no middle-ranged calls. Just simple, deep bass tones whose vibrations would send tingles down spines and cause girls’ nape-hairs to rise ever so subtly. But honestly- what would the challenges be? If you could overcome those challenges, what new worlds would be open to you? Where would you go? Who’s albums would you collabo with (think Akon meets Kamaru)? Which babies would you scare with your scrunched-up face focusing on producing low notes through tightly pursed lips? Which lover would you melt with your renditions of James Brown/Tim Storms hits?

On the plus (and very attractive) side- you’d be on the same level as Swiss yodellers, Andrea Bocelli, Dolly Patton or Britney Spears. You’d be on the road 46 weeks of the year, you’d rack up a couple million frequent-flyer miles, and you’d make your village of Kanyuambora quite famous, just as another famous man did for his Kogelo hometown. And if Mavuno’s resident bassist (Benja- you know who you are) works mighty hard to develop this skill, there’s no wondering where it’ll take him, and by extension- the church! Benja- this could well be your calling! Ponder over it for a while.

And think about all the other uses of the much-overlooked whistle! And now- in Bass! You’d be in demand in so many industries- communicating with aliens, deep-sea diving with whales, cow-whispering, coaxing cats from tall trees… Oh the possibilities. And think about all the competitions you’d be eligible for. You could enter the Feadaíl Irish Whistling Competition where you’d go head-to-head with past and present champions like 2003-2007’s Aníde Uí Bhennéis, whose County Limerick swayed audiences, boggled judges and made little puppies whimper in delight. How cool would it be if Benja “Umevunwa” Bassman or Boris “Mike not Makena” Mbeizz Kutoka Muthya won the title of Irish Feadaíl 2009? That would put us on the map for something other than skinnily sweating it out over 26 miles.

And did you know that the historic city of Louisburg, North  Carolina,  USA, is the world’s whistling capital? They even have a National Whistling Convention every year! How cool would it be to head to North Carolina every April to participate in “Happy Whistler’s Week”, compete against other American whistlers, take breath-control classes at the International School for Whistlers and generally shatter the international misconception that Africans live in trees and eat wild berries for lunch? (Don’t they know that their ambassador lives in the big acacia down the street, with monkeys as their ever-present neighbors? And they call us primitive!) Benja- you could show them a thing or two, being the only African bass whistler… ever! Plus each contestant gets a handy little downloadable guideline!

Question- what’s your companies whistling range? Is there one so remarkable and unforgetable that everyone who sees/hears/touches/smells/tastes it is amazed and blown out of this world?

Answer- hire or incorporate your own Benja “Umevunwa” Bassman.

…to be nice. It’s something that I’m trying to teach myself every day, with varying degrees of success. I hope that my efforts have increased general sunshiney-ness in the lives of my family, friends and colleagues.

Sadly, the News Editor at a leading radio station doesn’t like spreading cheer. Below is my attempt to display one of my desires to read the news… on radio. I thought I was nice.

Being nice only takes three extra seconds of your time. My ignorance of the process is not an excuse. I’ve had my share of not being nice to other people, and I’ve learned the hard way that it only works against you. Sometimes it’s called for, especially if you’re facing a critic, or an idiot. In this case, I felt like the idiot. (I didn’t know that they require a demo, which in retrospect presented a fabulous *duh* moment for me). This response only encourages me to take my budding skills and attention elsewhere, like the TRNSMSSN show coming up soon.

This week, my mama, a guest and I decided to try out the new joint in town- Savanna Restaurant near Nairobi Hospital. I mean- it’s super snazzy, with a waterfall in the entrance, teak furniture with their logo emblazoned on the smooth, shiny tables, fabulous menus with thick paper that looks like a Japanese-born, Swedish-bred animator went crazy with the design, a logo that makes you wanna pinch yourself, a patio with leather armchairs… I mean- it was fabulous… Until the food came… and until I ventured forth into the unknown abyss that was awaiting me in the bathroom…

The food… well… sucks. I ordered a “Beef and Peanut Salad with Soya Sauce” which used such descriptive adjectives like smothered, grilled, slightly charred, fresh, crispy, moist, light, crunchy, tasty and delicious. Doesn’t that just make your taste buds tingle? Mine did. My mother ordered the “Mt. Kilimanjaro Soup” which contained all known vegetables to man- split peas, potatoes, carrots, celery, tomatoes, green peppers… yummo!

What I received- large pieces of wet lettuce, sliced carrots, whole, soggy peanuts and a side of sliced, cooked beef… with highly diluted soy sauce! My mama’s soup- whole semi-cooked veggies in salted water, with some oregano to add flavor.

To add insult to… well… injury, I ventured into the bathroom where I found electric blue liquid soap in a plastic cup, and a WC that hadn’t been flushed in a loooooooong while.

*yuck*

Plus- they don’t have a website, or a complaint system. It’s just as exciting as a grassy plain with few trees.

(*yuck*)(*yuck*)

… say things like “you weren’t supposed to be transferred to this department. Haki ['I swear'] I don’t know the phone number to our offices downtown…” your clients, or the potential ones, will run, and fast. I don’t care if I was transferred to you by mistake. Help me, or get me someone who can.

That was my first impression of Royal Media Services. (And why don’t they have a website anyway?)

Suggestion- take them through a customer service class, and directly relate their performance in the workplace to their paychecks. They’ll behave.